


Christmas Parties, Confessions, and Cozy Death Traps

by awanderingmuse, BobInTheComments, likegallows



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Camp Myths, Christmas Party, Christmas at Camp Halfblood, Cursed objects, Kinda, Kissing Booths, M/M, Terrible Jokes, True Love's Kiss, Ugly Christmas Sweaters, Underage Drinking, protective!percy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awanderingmuse/pseuds/awanderingmuse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BobInTheComments/pseuds/BobInTheComments, https://archiveofourown.org/users/likegallows/pseuds/likegallows
Summary: Ah, Christmas! That magical time of year where goodwill permeates the air, gifts are exchanged, and demigods question if they'll be smote down for singing the less secular Christmas carols! But as Nico will soon find out there are far more nefarious threats than carols this joyous time of year, a threat, in the form of an ugly Christmas sweater.
Relationships: Calypso/Leo Valdez, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Comments: 45
Kudos: 121





	1. Nico Needs A Sweater

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theboringdolphin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theboringdolphin/gifts).



> Hey everyone! Awanderingmuse here! So, BobInTheComments, likegallows, and I had an idea about an Ugly Christmas Sweater competition at Camp Halfblood last Christmas(ish). Nnow it's Christmas again and this story is ready to be posted! We hope you all have a Happy Holiday and enjoy this fic.
> 
> Also special thanks to theboringdolphin for cheerleading and betaing for us in the home stretch of this fic!

It’s sometimes easy to forget that Camp Half-Blood has the second largest collection of magical relics in all of North America. Coming in just behind Olympus and just ahead of Pittsburgh.

New campers are shown a film that was supposed to explain this, but Apollo edited the script to work in more of his haikus. Cutting this crucial information in the process, and forcing Chiron to give the fledgling demigods a brief lecture on the dangers of picking up shiny objects, to not accept candy from translucent people, and leave the trophies in the Big House’s attic alone. 

Yet despite the ancient teacher’s warnings, incidents still happen.

Frequently. 

Resulting in legends that are passed down by word of mouth to each generation of demigods. Legends such as:

A daughter of Demeter once found herself short on water for her oatmeal, and decided to use the contents of an unmarked water bottle from the back of the Big House’s fridge. One bite of the breakfast food sent her on a psychedelic trip, her resulting screams waking up the entire camp. For the bottle contained the Kykeon of Demeter, a powerful elixir used to invoke trances for rituals. Or in Mr. D’s case, the owner of the unmarked brew, a way to bypass Zeus’ punishment of sobriety. The girl was eventually cured of her insanity by the god of madness, but she would avoid both oatmeal and water bottles for the rest of her days.

A hot-headed son of Ares seeking a sparring partner who could keep up with his aggressive fighting style, stumbled upon the battered remains of an armored automaton in the scrapyard. Seeing the mechanical man as a sign from his father, he secreted it away and ~~threatened~~ forcefully convinced a Cabin Niner to make the necessary repairs. The child of Hephaestus returned it to its former glory, but since he knew not how it worked, warned against reactivating it. The hot-headed boy ignored the warnings, reactivating the automaton, and to his delight found it to be the perfect partner. Until it refused to quit. The automaton, a prototype of Talos, slayed the son of Ares and three other campers by the time it was destroyed. 

A more recent legend involves two familiar sons of Hermes and the sword and shield of the original Perseus. Connor and Travis stumble upon the scythe-like sword that was said to cut through anything and the impenetrable shield in the weapons shed and decide to figure out which was stronger. They never did get their answer, but the crater they made is currently being turned into a VIP pool by the Aphrodite cabin. The sword and shield disappearing in the blast and the boys earning three days of bedrest and three weeks of landscaping duty. 

But there is one legend that is spoken only in hushed whispers after the lights have gone out. A legend that dates back to when Aphrodite emerged from the seafoam.

Before Zeus married the goddess of love off to Hephaestus, every god, and more than a few goddesses, sought to win her hand. Hermes gifted her a pair of winged sandals that would also give her dainty feet the perfect pedicure. Ares offered her the head of a mighty drakon that would whisper the latest gossip and fashion tips in her ear. Poseidon attempted to give her a magical clamshell chariot, but was quick to retract it when Amphitrite interrupted with a rolling pin in hand. Hades, who was going through a phase, gave her a book of angsty, handwritten poetry. Zeus stood behind him and mimed to Aphrodite to just accept the gift and move on. Dionysus, still in the middle of a three-month bender and lacking any subtlety, bestowed to the goddess a garment of wool, patterned with plump, red lips and mistletoe. 

It was this last gift that made Aphrodite laugh, with all the other gods joining in on the goddess’ amusement.

Humiliated yet still longing for the radiant beauty, Dionysus placed a curse on the garment. Once Aphrodite put it on, it would be impossible to take off. Each attempt to remove it would only add to the garment’s power and each lie inflicting an ever-increasing agony. The only way to remove it was a kiss of true, romantic love. Dionysus rationalized that the goddess would either be consumed by the rejected gift or realize her feelings for him.

It... It wasn’t his best work.

But Aphrodite never wore the hideous thing. It faded into the back of her closet and obscurity. 

Until it somehow wound up at the Greek camp. 

Every few decades, a demigod will stumble upon the cursed article of clothing. Some would wear it out of desperation, some thinking it would be funny, and some because they lacked any fashion sense. But no matter the reason they all met the same gruesome fate, consumed by the woolen monstrosity, and the cursed item would once more disappear without a trace.

Nearly every camper knows the legend of Dionysus’ spurned love and to beware the world’s first ugly Christmas sweater…

* * *

Nico slips from the shadows and casts an eye to his surroundings. He is not far from the perimeter of the camp. In fact, it’s just over the crest of the snow-covered hill. The wind howls through the trees and a blast of frigid air mixed with snow so fine the powder is like shards of glass against his skin. Nico squints and pulls the knitted cap over his ears as he hikes through the foot or so of snow towards Camp Half Blood. 

He sneaks a peek under the mittens covering his hands and is thankful there’s no flickering translucence of his skin. Nico could have shadow travelled straight into camp but if there were any lingering complications of using shadow travel following nearly dying by disappearing into a shadow himself after over exerting his powers to bring the Athena Parthenos home, he didn’t want to chance that one of his friends at camp would notice. The following lecture wouldn’t be worth it and besides, it was sort of hard to get them to listen when he insisted he was fine. And honestly, he was! 

It was probably psychosomatic at this point because he’d been fine when he’d slipped out of the shadows near the fire escape that led to Percy’s apartment. He’d promised to visit his friends for the holidays and not to spend “too long” in the Underworld any more. Percy had said he’d be at his mom’s so that’s where Nico went first.

The creaking of the icy metal must have alerted a very pregnant Sally to his visit because she was waiting by the window to usher him inside and out of the snow. Nico did his best not to track any mess inside the apartment but the tread of his boots sort of made it impossible not to. She’d forced hot chocolate down his throat while informing him that Percy had chosen to spend a few days at camp to help in preparing for the holiday party. Given the whole current issue of not-exactly-being-enrolled-in-school he had the time. He wanted to make sure the campers, especially the younger year-rounders had something really special to look forward to.

Percy had the time, anyway. Apparently, it was difficult to find a school willing to enroll you when you’d been expelled from so many and then missed what equated to an entire semester. His studies were, apparently, mostly online and being tutored by Paul for the time being. 

Nico had only visited Percy’s home on a few occasions but Sally was always so friendly. He’d had a second cup of hot chocolate before politely letting her know that he should probably get going. Hazel was meant to be arriving at camp and she had wanted his help with something. Nico didn’t want to keep her waiting. 

The son of Hades was up and ready to slip back out when Sally stopped him. It was freezing out, she insisted, and shadow travel or not he might catch pneumonia. So she’d bundled the son of Hades in hand-me-down mittens, a scarf and hat before making him leave through the front door.

Nico clapped his mittens together to work some warmth into his hands. He’d only been outside for a handful of minutes and already the below-freezing temperatures were starting to sink into his bones. Maybe he should have shadow travelled straight into Cabin 13. 

“It’s just me,” he murmurs when Peleus raises his copper-scaled head and tentatively tastes the air with his snakelike tongue. The golden fleece is vibrant, radiating warmth and light even whilst the rest of the tree’s branches hang heavy with snow. 

Steam puffs from his nose in a cloud, presumably because Nico disturbed him from his sleep. As if realizing it is snowing, the dragon does something not entirely unlike Mrs. O’Leary shaking off after a dip in the Styx and sends snow flying everywhere. The son of Hades winds up with a face-full and he can’t help but think, as Peleus curls around the tree a little tighter, that the protector of camp looks a little smug. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had done it on purpose. 

The moment he steps over the threshold, the son of Hades expects to tug off the hat, shrug out of the hand-me-down winter jacket and unwrap the scarf tied around his neck. Like pretty much every expectation the demigod has ever had, it is not met. 

Camp Half-Blood is covered with half the snow that existed outside of its walls. It is tactical, he surmises, because the strawberry fields and vineyard are untouched. Across the landscape sporadic trees or hedges surrounding camp are also free of white caps. Some of the nature spirits were pretty uppity so if Nico had to take a guess, they probably didn’t want to have anything to do with the cold white stuff.

Although the weather magic existing within the confines of camp normally kept the temperature warm and the sun shining year-round, someone must have made a concession for Christmas. Either that or Mr D had gotten into the holiday spirit and helped himself to one too many drinks. 

The camp’s second guardian, the Athena Parthenos, stands proudly with a light dusting of snow set about her shoulders. There’s also a wreath of holly and a string of twinkling lights which the demigod assumes is solar powered because it doesn’t appear to be plugged into anything. All around the camp, Christmas decorations are hung. Honestly, Nico has mixed feelings about the holidays. December isn’t really his favorite time of the year for a lot of reasons, but then it’s also his first Christmas since Hazel. 

One of the nearby hills has the most noise coming from it out of anywhere else in camp. Normally that would be his cue to slip the other way but he picks out Jason’s booming laugh and Leo’s cackle. There’s a good chance that his sister has already arrived. If she has, then she’ll be with them. 

It’s not hard to see why everyone is laughing when he crests the hill. Various items have been turned into sleds including but not limited to various sized shields, what appears to be a large baking sheet, and some of the tubes campers normally used on the water. 

Leo must have made his because something had scorched the earth, melted the snow, and was sitting in a pile of smoke having crashed into a tree. Sure enough Leo was getting screamed at by a furious nature spirit. 

The hill has an icy sheen where Percy has made some kind of ramp. The black-haired teen isn’t anywhere to be seen, though. 

“Nico!” 

Hazel calls his name, breaking away from the group the moment her gemstone eyes find his dark frame on the hill. She comes bounding up the hill only slipping a few times on the way. Nico can’t help but smile. That is until she doesn’t slow down and tackles him into the snow. He’s extra thankful that Sally had forced the mittens, hat and scarf on him as they land with a thump.

“I’m so glad you could make it.” 

“Me too,” he laughs. “How are you?” 

“I’m doing really well. Everything’s finished with the tunnels between camp so travelling back and forth is much easier. We’re thinking of drawing up some plans to make some ‘shortcuts’ to a few prime locations across the United States to make travelling for quests a little safer.”

Nico smiles at the excitement shining in her eyes. “That’s a great idea. It would probably make coordinating demigod children and getting them to either camp easier, too.” 

“That’s what we were thinking. Oh my gods! When did you get tall?”

Nico laughs and rolls his eyes. Somewhere between September and November he’d had a bit of a growth spurt. 

Everyone else has caught sight of the two of them so while the laughing half-siblings dust themselves off and pick themselves up from the snow, the other demigods make their way up the hill. 

“Hey Neeks. Good to see you.” Jason Grace gives him a smile and a nod. 

“Glad you could make it.” Frank agreed following closely behind. He was responsible for pulling the other half of the ‘sleds’ that Jason wasn’t tugging. Even through the bundles of sweaters, the son of Hades could appreciate their strong forms. Platonically. Clearly. Like, he had eyes. 

“Hey.” Smiling still felt sort of out of place. It’s not that he never smiled but like most muscles, he was still getting into the practice. It came easier now than it had before. “Camp’s looking pretty festive. I didn’t realise there was going to be snow.” 

“Yeah, neither did we. Frank and I had to borrow some jumpers from the Big House. Not a perfect fit, they’re a little mothy, but I can’t complain.” 

“It’s all Pipes.” Leo, who has managed to escape the furious spirit, pops up from behind Jason and Frank. It’s hard not to just appear as if from thin air. Jason and Frank are both over six feet tall and Leo barely pushes five foot six. The former praetor and current praetor are like a wall when stood side by side. 

Leo waggles his eyebrows, “She may have used a little bit of her charm on Mr D. I think, afterwards he realized he was duped but now it’s his idea. Like the whole thing. Winter at camp. The Christmas party. The ugly sweater competition. _All_ of it.” 

“Speaking of the party! We should finish putting the final touches on our sweaters.” Hazel interjects excitedly. 

“Finishing touches?” Nico raises an eyebrow at the circle of friends. 

“Annabeth has been working on hers for weeks. She won’t let anyone see it.” Leo whisper-shouts from behind his hand, “but my girl Calypso has her eyes on the prize. She’s been weaving away all morning.”

“Nico,” Hazel’s voice sounds scandalised. Probably because he feels about twenty steps behind the conversation. “I told you about the dress code. Ugly Christmas sweater.” 

“Mr D. isn’t letting anyone in without one.” Frank adds solemnly.

“Oh.” Nico is wearing a long-sleeved black t-shirt beneath his winter outerwear. There’s no way he has a sweater in Cabin 13 and even if he did, it would be too short. Not that he really owns any sweaters. “I’m sure I could sneak in. What’s he going to do, kick me out and piss off my father?” 

“Nico!” Hazel is hanging off of his arm at this point as they make their way from the snow-topped hill towards the cabins. 

“Your sister is right, man. Besides, I’d be more afraid of Piper and Percy.” Jason warns. “They’ve set the whole thing up. The decorations, the planning, everything. Honestly, I didn’t know the dude had it in him.” 

Well, Sally had said that it was really important to Percy. Hearing that the daughter of Aphrodite and son of the sea had teamed up didn’t really surprise him. He is curious to know where Annabeth is or if she’s coming from New Rome to join in the holiday given everything. It’s sort of an awkward thing to ask with Jason and Hazel in-the-know but Leo and Frank not. Well, not that he is aware anyway. 

“I don’t have a sweater in the first place!” He huffs. 

“There’s loads of cast-offs in the big house. I bet you could find a sweater among all the junk in there.” Leo chimes in helpfully. 

“Percy started a collection for all the new campers coming in.” Jason adds. “A lot of them don’t have anything.” 

Nico can relate. Somehow he isn’t surprised that Percy is the one who had the idea. 

“That’s a great idea!” Hazel half shoves him towards the Big House. 

“Alright, alright. I get the point. One stupid sweater for the Christmas party.” Nico gives Hazel another hug and then waves the teens off. 

“Be quick about it!” Frank yells to Nico as he is led away by Hazel. “Reyna should be arriving soon and I know she’s excited to see you.”

The Big House gives him a lot of mixed feelings but it’s better with the actual tons of Christmas lights hanging from the roof and wound around the porch rails. Holly and mistletoe appears to have grown with great fervor around every other available space between the lights unaffected by the snow and the lower-than-average temperature. On the roof there is a life size version of Santa, his sleigh and reindeer. There are only seven of them. 

That’s not even the worst of it. There are countless snowmen leading up on the lawn in various states of drunken jollyment. Nico has never seen anything like it in his life. If this was the begrudging camp leader’s way of embracing Piper’s manipulation, he was half intrigued and half frightened to see what the party itself would be like. 

Nico kicks snow off his boots and makes his way to the attic, it’s where all the junk is kept after all. It’s a hoarder's dream up there and smells like a mix of moth balls, dust, stale air and something a little fruity. It’s probably wine, he thinks, because it’s both sweet but also has a bite to it. 

He pulls off his mittens, unwinds his scarf and takes off the wool hat. They’re set aside by the trapdoor as he reaches for the pull string of the attic light. It casts a shaky circle of light around the attic. It’s massive and there are more piles of junk than is strictly necessary. The son of Hades wonders if it’s Chiron or Dionysus who’s the hoarder. Probably the both of them. 

“Okay. Sweater. Sweater.”

The demigod murmurs to himself as he starts making his way up the unofficial aisles that have been formed by the mountains of junk. Rusted candlestick holders. A section that seemed dedicated to decrepit mannequins. The desiccated husk of the previous Oracle of Delphi.

Honestly, Nico was not surprised by the variety of junk that was up there but he wonders if there has ever been any kind of organizational system in place. Unless there is some link between the skulls of animals, neon light up signs, and weapons that look more like scrap metal than anything worth arming oneself with, Nico doubts it. 

“It has to be here somewhere,” he murmurs to himself. 

Finally, Nico’s eyes land on a pile of clothing that looks more like a rats nest than an organized system meant to fit out children without clothing to their name. 

“Planning has never really been his strong suit, Nico. You know this.” The son of Hades continues to talk to himself as he drops to his knees and picks his way through the pile. There’s no differentiation between clothes for boys and clothes for girls, sizes, age ranges, or anything. Still, Nico isn’t going to let down his sister by not being able to attend the holiday party.

And, honestly, he was starting to look forward to doing something sort of normalish with his friends. Like Frank said, Reyna would be arriving later, too, and it has been a month or so since he has seen her. 

The pile is a mess so Nico decides to speed up the searching process. If it doesn’t look or feel like a sweater, it is chucked over his shoulder. What’s the difference if the pile of clothes winds up in front of him or behind him? He hardly thinks it will cause any more inconvenience for anyone who comes looking to deck out the next camper. 

Nico is halfway through the pile when something catches his eye. Under a table, just beyond the pile and half covered by a box of rusty metal parts, is what appears to be a bright knitted sleeve. 

“Please, oh please, oh please.” he mutters to himself as he wades his way out of the pile of clothes. The box is heavy but Nico’s stronger than he looks. He moves the thing easily and gives a triumphant “woo,” when it is, in fact, a sweater. Now to see if it fits. 

As he reaches for it he thinks it looks about three or four sizes too big. When he holds it up in front of his chest, however, he’s surprised by how terribly he’s miscalculated. The tag on the inside is indecipherable, likely from age but the sweater itself appears in good condition. 

It turns out that Nico’s in luck! It’s a Christmas sweater, too. There’s a simple design of mistletoe in the knitting itself. Nico gives it a sniff and surprisingly it doesn’t smell like dust and damp. Instead, it smells fresh. 

Maybe it was a new addition to the hand-me-down pile this year. Someone probably wore it last year and grew out of it this year. All the better for Nico! 

“Looks like I won’t be missing out.” he states to himself as he glances down. It fits perfectly. The sweater is thick and scratches at his bare arms. But it’s probably wool and everyone knows that wool is notoriously scratchy. 

Nico glances back to the pile of clothes. No, it’s not worth attempting to find another one. The chances that there’s another sweater that fits him is slim. And it’s next to none that there’s another Christmas sweater. 

On his way out of the attic, Nico wraps himself up in his layers before he clicks off the attic light and heads towards Cabin 13. 

Hopefully he and Hazel can spend some time together one-on-one to catch up more before heading over to the party. That and Nico sort of wants to ditch Percy’s hat, scarf and mittens before the other demigod sees him in them. No doubt his former crush will recognise them and ask questions. 

Questions that Nico doesn’t feel like answering.


	2. The Party

It takes a bit of searching. As well as learning from Travis that Hazel was seen with Leo, who says that he’d left her, with Piper, who thinks his sister was talking to Frank. Eventually Nico gives up and goes to Cabin 13 to make sure he’s all set for the party.

He’ll just make sure that sweater looks right in a mirror and that his hair isn’t doing something crazy. Then he’ll go out to the dining pavilion where the party is supposed to start.

That’s where he finally finds Hazel styling her hair. He’s not quite sure when they got a proper vanity for the bathroom, but if it’s something Hazel needs he’ll roll with it. She’s pinning her curls into a bun at the base of her neck. Her bangs are swept back into a wave flowing down to the bun. It looks really pretty. She’s just finishing up by pinning a tiny shiny pom pom in her hair when he walks in.

“Wow Hazel, you look gorgeous.” Nico can’t help but say. He makes himself comfortable on the couch he has shoved in a corner. There’s no need to have more than two beds in this cabin. It’s not like the big three’s oath is over, even if the three brothers don’t seem to be all that great at keeping it.

Hazel smiles at him through the mirror and checks her hair one last time. He’s not sure why, it looks perfect to him. “Are you sure? I thought I’d try something a little different.”

It’s not quite what she means but Nico gets the point. They both sometimes find themselves missing things from the time they should be from. Hair, or clothes, or music, just the little things that simply no longer are.

“Frank’s going to be fending off the boys while I’ll keep the girls from sabotaging your outfit.” Nico says seriously. “You look cute as a bug’s ear.”

It’s true even her ‘ugly’ sweater is cute. It’s a deep red with a wide neck that looks like it’s tied together at the shoulder by a Christmas bow. Though Nico is sure his sister would never be so daring. She’s also got more of the little tinsel pom pom’s sewn to it to go with her hair.

She blushes and finally turns to him. Nico is sure he is about to be chastised for being too nice, though Hazel deserved every kindness. Then she catches sight of his sweater.

“Oh you found one!” She says delightedly. “And it fits perfectly. We should add just a bit more to make it yours, don’t you think?”

As it is every sister's right to torture their brothers, she immediately turns to her box containing the silvery pomoms and begins adding them strategically to his sweater. He’s not sure why he needs pom poms or why they have to go between every piece of mistletoe but as is often the case it’s just easier to let her have her way.

“So, how are you doing?” He asks awkwardly while Hazel works. Her hands occasionally brush against him in a way that is casual and yet too intimate for someone unused to being touched at all. “Anything new happening in New Rome?”

“Not really.” Hazel says, slightly distracted from her work. It causes one of the poms to be slightly off center but Nico decides not to say anything. He wants to get a move on and see everyone. “The Legion keeps on. Frank’s taking to being a Praetor well, though. He loves it. He and Reyna make a great team and it’s good to have Jason around as Pontifex to help whenever they do disagree.”

Nico nods. That’s what he expected to hear. He’s glad to know that everyone is doing alright.

“And how about you?” Hazel asks perceptively. “How was Father’s realm? I was rather surprised when you decided to go back. I thought you’d be hanging around here more. You know since certain sunshine people are here.”

Nico didn’t want to talk about that. Mainly because there wasn’t really anything to say and if he did Hazel would assume the worst and over react in the most dangerous of ways. “I wasn’t planning to leave.” He says instead. “But Dad needed me and it made sense to go. I’m back now though.”

“Hmm.” Haze says noncommittally working for a few more moments. Then she tugs on the hem of his sweater as if it were out of place and says. “There, I think you’re done.”

Nico looks down. The sweater is now much more in the ‘ugly’ sweater class, but it’s not unbearably so. If anybody comments, at least he can blame his sister. “Thanks Hazel.”

Hazel smiles like she knows he doesn’t like it and is secretly delighted that he’s letting her decorate him anyways. “Good. Then we should go see what’s happening at the party. It should be starting soon. With that Hazel is grabbing his hand and leading him towards the dining pavilion singing Jingle Bells all the way there.

When they get to the Dining Pavillion it’s to find that people are already gathered around. There’s music provided by the Apollo cabin but nobody has started dancing, yet. Mostly people are walking around and chatting with each other. Looking at the sweaters that everyone has made like it’s some kind of odd art gallery.

All the tables have been shoved aside to form a ring around the edge of the pavilion. They are loaded with Christmas snacks like chex mix, sugar cookies, and tortilla roll-ups towered into a Christmas tree. The haripes and nymphs have clearly been working hard to get this together for Mr. D. There are also stand up tables all around for people to put their food and drinks down.

“Neeks!” Jason calls waving them over to the group as soon as they walk in. “We’re over here.”

Even though the others mentioned she’d be coming, he’s surprised to see that Annabeth is there. With everything going on between her and Percy, or by this point maybe no longer going on between them, he’d expected her to decide to stay in New Rome.

If the point of the ugly sweater contest is to have a truly horrific sweater Nico thinks hers takes the cake. He’s sure she tried to knit it herself. It’s grey and has white blobs knitted into it that he thinks should be snowflakes. She’s done something with the yarn to try to make it look like they’re falling. Unfortunately Annabeth’s knitting is so lumpy and in places loose that it just ends up looking like the whole thing will fall apart with one wrong tug.

Percy is a bit further away, helping the Stolls set up something that Nico thinks will end up being very prank-like party games. But at the sound of Jason’s voice he looks up to see Nico and Hazel. He very clearly excuses himself from the work and makes his way over to them.

Even as Percy starts welcoming them to the party and walking them towards the group Nico notices from the corner of his eye how Annabeth makes her excuses and goes to the other side of the pavilion. Well that answers that question at least.

Hazel squeezes his wrist and goes to talk to the other girl. Probably to make sure Annabeth is okay before she rejoins the group.

Not that he's really able to concentrate on Annabeth’s problems. Not when Percy is right there in a light green sweater with a whale wearing a Santa hat that is just a tad bit too tight in the chest and shoulders. Even worse, he seems to be expecting Nico to respond to his gentle teasing about Nico’s own sweater..

“Are you sure you made that Nico?” He’s asking. “It looks a little store bought if you know what I mean. A little too perfect, yeah?”

“I made it as much as you made yours.” Nico retorts, careful to keep his tone uncaring. So far it’s worked well for him in dealing with Percy. Both in keeping the other demigod from trying too hard to be his friend and at keeping his own heart rate from increasing in Percy’s presence.

“I cut out and glued the whale all by myself.” Percy argues as they draw to the group containing Leo, Piper, and Jason. “I bet you didn’t even sew on your own pom poms.”

“I did.” Nico snaps back. Only feeling a little bad for taking credit for Hazel’s work. His sister won’t mind too much and Percy had gotten so far under his skin that he couldn’t help it. Speaking of skin, the back of his neck itches where the sweater’s material has gathered. Nico reaches back to scratch at it and grabs a glass of cranberry punch from a tray carried by one of the circulating satyrs.

“I didn’t realize you knew how to sew, much less knit so well.” Piper says interestedly. If Annabeth’s sweater is horrifically ugly the other girl’s is artfully ugly. It honestly looks like she is wearing a Christmas tree with a train that travels along the hem. She even has a little star hat on her head to complete the look. It’s tacky and awful, and also a lot of fun. Maybe, if they do this again next year he’ll put a bit more effort into it, maybe.

“Oh yes, I love knitting.” Nico lies again. Now he’s starting to feel uncomfortable with the untruths, but what else is he supposed to do?

“You’ve done great.” Leo gushes, his words slightly slurred. He’s quickly distracted with patting out a tiny flaming patch on his sweater. His sweater is dark blue with little tiny christmas lights strung throughout the fabric to look like twinkly stars. But what really takes the cake is that he somehow made a little festus to fly around the sweater pulling Santa’s sleigh. Tiny Festus can even blow fire, which is why the sweater is slowly getting burn patches all over it.

“Thanks.” Nico. says pulling at the sleeves of his borrowed sweater. They’re just a tad bit long on him which he hadn’t noticed at first. In fact he’s almost positive that they’d been the perfect length earlier. That was odd. Perhaps he’d accidentally stretched it out while he was with Hazel.

Nico hopes the others leave him alone about the sweater now. At first it seems to work. mainly because Hazel has returned with Frank who is wearing a basic red sweater. He would be tempted to accuse him of not dressing up except for one thing. His ears were actual elf ears.

It certainly distracts the group for a while, at least. They’re talking about some things Frank and Reyna want to do in New Rome when Percy suddenly says that he really should go help the Stolls finish setting up the games. A few moments later Annabeth and Reyna rejoin the group.

Reyna’s sweater is perfect if there is such a thing. Unlike Piper’s sweater, Reyna’s is clearly a sweater. It's just made to look like a Christmas tree. It has lights along the hemline that glow in the form of dancing dogs. If she presses a button on her wrist the dogs dance in time with the music.

“Nico!” Annbeth exclaims as soon as she gets to him. “I did not know you could knit. Do you want to work together sometime. I’d love to compare techniques.”

Nico knows this is Annabeth’s way of saying I don’t know what I’m doing please help. But he also knows he can’t teach her because he also doesn’t know how to knit. Still, he can’t say that now.

“I don’t know.” He speaks hesitantly trying to buy time while he thinks of some reason he can’t. “There’s a lot going on in the Underworld these days. There’s a good chance Hades will need me to come back once the holidays are over.”

“I thought you’d said you were done?” Hazel demands. His sister worries when he goes to work for their father.

“For now.” Nico agrees his hand brushing nervously against his dark jeans. Except instead his fingers touch sweater. He looks down shocked to see that the hemline of his sweater is now down to his finger tips. It definitely hadn’t been that long before.

He must be going crazy but the only conclusion he can reach is that the sweater is inexplicably growing on him, literally. Nico pushes up the sleeves but there’s no avoiding that they are now uncomfortably long where they weren’t before.

Hazel notices his struggle against the garment almost immediately. “Are you okay Nico? You seem really uncomfortable.”

At least her distraction by his discomfort means she’s not going to correct the general impression the others have that he’d made the sweater on his own. It’d be terribly embarrassing to be caught out in that particular lie.

“Yeah.” Nico says agitatedly. Trying to keep his sister from worrying and likely failing spectacularly. “It’s just the sweaters a bit big and kinda hot. Not the most comfortable thing I could be wearing.

Somehow the sleeves on his sweater slip down just a little bit more. Nico tries to push them up again but his hands are still swamped. It’s just much too big for his frame now. It’s annoying because this is not an issue he has had with clothing since he hit his growth spurt.  
“I mean, if it’s really that uncomfortable you could just take it off.” Frank offers.He’s always the person to make sure that his friends are happy and comfortable.

“Yeah.” Piper agrees, adding the official weight of organizer approval to the offer. “We’ll just get you a jacket and pin some tinsel to your undershirt. It will be fine.”

He’s so relieved that he doesn’t have to wear the hot, heavy, overlarge garment any longer. Grateful to Frank and Piper for saving him from this awful thing he pulls the thing over his head and off. But there isn’t the expected relief of cool air hitting his toros. Much to his horror, when he looks down, the sweater is still there.

“Really Nico, you look way too hot. You should take it off.” Hazel says encouragingly. He tries again, this time with an audience. It’s the same thing. He pulls the sweater over his head but it’s still there when he’s done.

“Guys, I don’t think it wants to come off.” Nico says with panic rising in his throat.

“Here let me help.” Jason says gamely. “I hate when clothes are so big you can’t pull them off easily.”

It’s so embarrassing that Jason has to help him get undressed like he’s a little kid. But it’s better than Hazel or Percy deciding to help him, that would be humiliating. .

With Jason’s help the sweater goes over his head again, just like the last two tires, but when he looks down the damn thing is still there. Jason grunts in surprise. “That’s not right? Nico, how did you make this sweater again?”

They’ve gathered a bit of a crowd, which makes everything twelve times worse. Percy even noticed that something was going on and rejoined the group. He’s watching the scene with catiousious eyes. His battle instincts always ready to kick in should the situation end up requiring it.

“Well, it was a lot of work. ” Nico starts to craft his lie pulling at his sleeves. Which is how he, and probably everyone else notices that the sweater grows a little bit with his words. The sleeves now flop uselessly at his sides while the hem is somewhere around his thighs.

“Nico.” Reyna says somewhat sternly. “I really think that you may want to consider telling us the truth if you want to get out of that thing.”

Nico looks down at the sweater and sighs. They’re probably right. “I found it in the attic of the Big House and Hazel sewed the pom poms on it.”

“In the attic?” Hazel asks. “Why did you go up there? The donation pile is in the corner of the war room.”

“Oh.” Nico says. Because that does make sense now that he thinks about it. No reason to make young kids go into the scary attic just because they want a shirt. “Jason said it was with all the junk. I thought he meant in the attic.”

Annabeth is frowning thoughtfully now. “Guys, I think this might be bad.” She says finally.

“Why?” Percy asks, earning a dirty look from what Nico feels fairly safe in calling his ex-girlfriend.

Annabeth rolls her eyes dismissively. Apparently breaking up had not solved the problems they were suffering from. “Because that’s clearly the sweater Mr. D. gave Aphrodite. You know they say that it eats people alive.”

That’s a great thought. What’s even less reassuring is how Piper immediately seems to consider it. “We should probably figure out how to get it off then.”

“Oh come on.” Percy interjects. “Don’t say you actually believe this. It is probably just trapped around his wrists.” Much to Nico’s embarrassment Percy immediately starts tugging at the arms of his sweater. While the arms will move over his hands it's also clear that the sweater isn’t coming off. All Percy’s efforts earn is more lengths of wool around Nico’s arms.


	3. The Italian in the Sweater

After several more failed attempts to remove the sweater from the guys, who refuse to actually believe that the Sweater of Dionysus actually exists, nothing but the size of the sweater has changed. Nico’s face is as red as Mr. D’s nose and his hair is standing on end like the bride of Frankenstein, making Piper giggle about something called The Nightmare Before Christmas. The hem of the sweater is well beyond his knees and even the arms of a Giant wouldn’t be long enough to fill the wooly garment’s. There is enough static charge on his body that he imagines the next person to touch him will be struck down from a power comparable to Zeus’ Master Bolt.

All because a certain son of Poseidon was too stubborn to admit defeat.

“I know it’s going to come off this time, Nico,” Percy all but growls. “I can feel it.” The older demigod rolls his shoulders before spitting into his palms-

“No! Not going to happen!” Nico cries, shirking away from the Son of Poseidon. “The thirty-two other times were bad enough, I am not letting you spit on me!”

“Bet he wouldn’t have shaid that a few monshs ago,” Leo tries to whisper to the Daughter of Aphrodite. “Would’ve loved shwapping sphit with Aquaman,” the son of Hephaestus giggles, no longer trying to conceal the conversation or his amusement. Nico hadn’t noticed when Leo had left them but he certainly notices when he comes back.

He spins around to bite the spiked-punch-drinking Texan’s head off, but his legs become entangled in the oversized arms. His anger diffuses into a high pitched yelp that he’ll never live down and his embarrassment is only compounded when both Jason and Percy swoop in to catch him.

As he lies wrapped like a mummy Nico notices what appears to be a silent conversation transpire between the other two sons of the Big Three. Whatever they were discussing was decided upon by Jason arching his left eyebrow higher than Percy’s, at which point the Son of Jupiter lifted Nico to his feet.

“Thanks,” Nico mumbles just loud enough for Jason to hear and then with a sigh repeats himself at a volume Percy can hear.

He goes to take a step forward, far more cautious this time, but Jason grabs his shoulder firmly and whispers in his ear. “I’ll go talk to Leo.” The blond’s hot breath tickles his ear, making him shrug his shoulders on reflex. “But don’t take what he said too personally. I saw Connor and Travis pouring something in the punch.”

“I hope it was poison,” the son of Hades mutters as Jason politely pushed his way through the gathered crowd. Leaving him somewhat alone with-

A pair of calloused hands grabbed the hem of the accursed sweater and yanked it up. “Percy!” he shouted as the sweater grew another inch and itchier.

The son of Poseidon walked into view, bashfully scratching his nose. “I thought it might work if I surprised it?”

“How do you surprise a sweater?” he asks in disbelief. Only to immediately chastise himself for questioning Percy’s idea. Percy did whatever popped into his head if it meant helping someone he cared about. The realization hurt more than it should have. So he focused on gathering up the giraffe-neck length arms. “Just, don’t do that again. It didn’t accomplish anything other than making me more miserable.”

Percy looks as if he has been struck, but before either of them can say a word Annabeth chimes in. “He’s right, Percy,” she hums, only worsening to the son of Poseidon’s mood. The Daughter of Athena notices Percy’s rapidly sinking mood and rolls her eyes. “Not about that, Seaweed brain,” she says, flicking the green-eyed demigod’s forehead. “About it not accomplishing anything. We need to think this through, come up with a strategy, explore our options-”

“WHOEVER GETS NICO’S SWEATER OFF GETS ALL THE LEFTOVER COOKIES!” The Daughter of Aphrodite bellows at the top of her lungs. Apparently Leo wasn’t the only one hitting the punch while Percy, Frank, and Jason tried to get the sweater off.

Nico knows what it is like to be looked at like he was a piece of meat. It was how every monster looked at him when they didn’t want him dead from some preexisting grudge. But there was something deeply unsettling to be looked at that way by his peers.

What few heads hadn’t been looking at him turned with an almost mechanical motion as those closest to him shambled forward like zombies. A shuffling son of Ares knocked shoulders with a daughter of Athena, igniting the spark of competition in the partygoers and instantly turning the shambling demigods into a rampaging horde.

“HOLD IT!” Percy shouts as both he and Annabeth place themselves between Nico and the mass of demigods. It seems that even after a breakup the former golden couple are still the perfect team.

“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it in an orderly manner,” Annabeth explains with a pointed glare directed at Piper. The Daughter of Aphrodite only saluting the blonde in return.

Nico tries to raise his hand but struggles to get it higher than his waist thanks to the weight of the sweater. “I would rather we not-”

“Form a line,” Annabeth says with a dismissing wave to the Son of Hades. To which Nico wonders if the daughter of Athena’s pride was a factor in the breakup, Percy probably fed up with his inability to be listened to once the blonde’s gears were turning. “Hey, Leo!”

The elfish blacksmith spins away from his conversation with Jason and would have fallen over if Calypso and the Son of Jupiter hadn’t caught him “Yesh?”

“Could you toss me a pair of scissors?” Annabeth asks, earning a round of boos from the forming line. “I’m going to start with the most obvious solution.”

“Pulling it off is the most obvious solution,” Nico mutters only to hear an echo. He looks to his left to see Percy staring back at him. The green-eyed demigod and him having said the same thing at the same time. He quickly looks away but swears he can still feel Percy’s gaze on him.

“Great minds, Nico,” Percy chuckles.

That makes Nico smile ever so slightly.

“You got it, warrior prinshesh!” Leo lifts his smoldering sweater up, revealing a punch-stained undershirt and his trademark toolbelt. With his free hand his fishes through the pouches until he removes a pair of silver scissors. “Headsh up!”

Before anyone can process what he said, Leo whips the scissors through the air directly at Nico’s face. The distance between him and the scissors is too short for him to shadow travel away in time, so he tries to jump to the side. Only to trip on the sweater’s arms.

Percy grabs him before he hits the floor just as Annabeth plucks the thrown cutting utensils out of the air with a disturbing ease.

“LEO!” Jason and Calypso shriek at the giggling Son of Hephaestus.

“I jush did assh blondie shaid,” Leo grins before leaning over and pressing a sloppy kiss on Calypso’s cheek. “You’re really pretty.” The giggling Texan turns to Jason. “Sho are you.”

If looks could kill, the Son of Jupiter and former island prisoner would have been collateral damage from the devastating glare Nico gave Leo. “And you’re going to be really dea-”

Annabeth drops into a crouch before him, placing her eyes level with his crotch. “What are you doing?” He yelps as he tries to stumble away from the blonde.

“Oh, hush,” the daughter of Athena tuts as she grabs the hem of the sweater and slides the scissors in place. Detaining Nico from his desperately desired escape. “You didn’t throw as big a fit when Percy was trying to help you-”

The scissors glide up the sweater as easy as wrapping paper. For a brief moment Nico believes that Annabeth has done it and he won’t have to send her to his father’s realm for her snide remark.

But that kindling of hope was extinguished as his back became itchier and the daughter of Athena hummed in disappointment.

“This has got to be the sweater,” Annabeth sighs as he looks down to see what the scissors have done.

“It’s like a broken zipper.” Percy gasps as his former girlfriend runs the scissors up and down the length of the sweater. The wool weaving itself back together instantaneously as the blades slide past. “Nee- Nico, are you okay?”

Truthfully, Nico’s starting to get a little worried now. Every inch of his skin covered by the sweater, which itches worse than the time he fell into poison ivy, and the sheer weight of the hideous thing is making it hard to stand without slouching. “Just a bit itchy,” he concedes.

“This is going to require some research,” Annabeth announces as she stands up. Her brow is furrowed in deep thought and she taps the tips of the scissors against her pursed lips. “I’m going to run to my cabin and see what details I can find about the sweater.” She looks from Nico to Percy. “We don’t want to base all our decisions on an urban legend.”

“But an ancient myth is just fine,” Percy huffs. The comment earns the Son of Poseidon a matching pair of pointed looks from Nico and Annabeth, and he shrinks back with his hands held up in surrender. “Kidding. You go do that, I’ll make sure no one does anything too crazy to Nico.”

“Nico is right here,” the son of Hades hisses to the former couple. “And he doesn’t like to be talked about as if he’s not standing here!” Just standing near the two of them drudged up memories of being the third wheel. How he felt invisible to Percy whenever Annabeth was near. Was the sweater getting itchier?

The swirling sea in Percy’s eyes grows still as all traces of his usual grin disappears. “I didn’t mean to- I’m just- I’m sorry, Nico.”

Percy’s reaction is strange. He expected the older demigod to turn serious for maybe a whole second before trying to be funny. But one second passes. Then two. Then three. Then four and Percy still looked genuinely ashamed. “Percy’s it’s fi-”

“I’ll be back as quick as I can!” Annabeth proclaims as she jogs out of sight. One hand grasping her own sweater’s left shoulder to stop it from sliding off or unravelling.

“Which means the party games can begin!” Piper cries as she slides into the spot Percy’s ex had stood just a moment ago.

“They most certainly will not!” Nico growls at the Daughter of Aphrodite. He takes a step closer to the snickering girl, Percy behind him scooping up some of the sweater’s arms so he can move a little easier. “This is not a game!”

Piper is unphased by his attitude and takes a sip from her cup with a small smirk. “Do you really want to tell them that?” She asks, pointing one slender finger behind him.

Nico furrows his brow at the brunette but to his annoyance, her smile only grows. He remembers the good old days when Piper was afraid of him. When she would make up some reason to leave the room whenever he walked in. But her discomfort disappeared the moment he confessed his feelings to Percy. The girl annoyingly becomes as comfortable around him as her boyfriend.

“I’ll tell everyone they can go right ahead and-” he follows Piper’s finger and blanches the moment he looks behind him.

Nearly everyone in the party has formed an orderly line to get a chance at removing the cursed garment and winning what cookies will remain. Even Hazel is standing in the line, bouncing on the balls of her feet like a small child. But his sister’s betrayal is the furthest thing from his mind as the first in line is the muscle-bound Son of Iris, Butch.

“Tell us what?” Butch asks as he cracks his knuckles and neck. The sound is disturbingly loud, making Nico, Percy, and Piper recoil in disgust. The giant among demigods is wearing a rainbow sweater that does nothing to conceal his muscles with the words “momma’s little man” crocheted across the chest. Nico wonders if Butch made it as a joke or if the sweater was made by Iris herself. If the latter, he pitied the fool who called it ugly.

“I’m, I’m, I’m going to tell them to go right ahead and give it their best?” He gulps.

The polychromatic Hercules flashes the room with a million-watt smile that should’ve belonged to Hazel or Calypso. “Thank you! I’ll be sure to be extra gentle!”

Nico’s eyes bulge. “What do you mean? Extra gentle, how?” He looks to Percy for help, easily setting aside his pride when it comes to the mountain of muscle. “Per-” Butch grabs the Son of Hades by the shoulders and tosses him in the air with superhuman ease “-OH MY GODS!”

Butch catches him by the shoulders, making Nico’s head rattle side-to-side. A vein pops up from the rainbow bodybuilder’s temple as he lets out an angry roar that drowns out everyone’s screaming. There is a tearing noise and Nico’s first thought is that Butch has torn his arms off. But when he hits the ground and his heart slows down to a countable beat, Nico finds his arms still remain.

As does the sweater.

“Golly… I thought that would work…” Butch frowns as he scratches at his nose. “Maybe I could try-”

“NO!” Nico, Percy, Piper, and the rest of the party scream. Those that aren't laughing, at least. Nico makes note of those that are laughing. He’ll remember them for later.

“No!” Percy repeats, his skin whiter than a ghost from the darkest depths of the Underworld. The giant of a demigod looks surprised and a little disappointed at the Son of Poseidon's tone.

“One attempt per person.” Percy gulps. It seems even the mighty hero of Olympus is terrified of the normally gentle giant. “Please?”

“Just get in the back of the line and you can have another go if no one else sets Nico free,” Piper says with a wicked grin.

Nico lifts his head from the pavilion floor. His eyes wide with a terror he had never felt before, even when he was facing Titans and true Giants.“WHAT?!”

Butch turns on his blinding smile and nods to the three of them. “I hope no one gets you out, Nico! Next time I’ll really try!” The Son of Iris chirps cheerfully before skipping to the back of the line.

Percy turns to Piper, slack-jawed. “Why didn’t we bring Shrek on the Argo II?!”

“I’m asking myself that same question.” Piper mumbles as she stares into her cup. She then looks to Percy and cries, “Alright! Set Nico up for another round!”

Nico tries to protest as Percy helps him to his feet with an apologetic smile. As he finds his feet, Nico trips on the preposterously long hem and lands face first into Percy’s chest. Instantly, he jumps backwards as if burned by the Son of Poseidon’s delightfully solid chest, only to stumble on the sleeves again. Percy once agains saves him from falling on his face. Strangely the older demigod’s face looks as red as Nico’s feels.

The Son of Hades’ embarrassment changes to anger in a heartbeat. Percy has no right to be embarrassed, not when he’s the one who chose to manhandle him.

But before he can tell the green-eyed demigod off, he is spun around like a top by the Stolls.

“Our turn!” Travis grins as Connor seemingly pulls two crowbars out of nowhere.

Percy jumps between Nico and the Sons of Hermes and swings his arms like a referee calling a foul. “Woah! Woah! Woah!” Percy cries as he snatches the blunt metal objects from Connor’s hands. “You are not doing anything that could hurt Neeks!”

The daughter of Aphrodite frowns and mutters into her drink, “Spoilsport.”

Nico’s temper is reaching its boiling point. He doesn’t need Percy to protect him and he certainly doesn’t need Percy to protect him from the Stolls of all people. “Yeah, you’re not getting anywhere near me with-” as fast as a cobra’s strike, Travis shoves a stack of cookies into Nico’s mouth “-MMMPH!!!”

“What about if we use the plastic pry bars?” Connor asks. Percy remains oblivious to Nico being gagged while Piper’s grin is nearly ear-to-ear. “They’ll snap before they do any damage.”

“I guess that’s okay.” Percy says. Unknowingly sealing Nico’s fate.

What follows will haunt Nico’s dreams for years, or so he tells himself. For he is subjected to one harebrained scheme after another without being able to voice his objections. The Stolls and Piper see to that by repeatedly stuffing his mouth with cookies, brownies, and even a paper towel or two.

First there was the Stolls, who stood in front of and behind him, and shoved a pair of plastic rods under the sweater. After an extremely uncoordinated countdown, the brothers tried to pull the bars up. At first, the sweater began to tear, but just as its hem got to Nico’s naval, the sweater snapped down like a collapsing umbrella. The unexpected counterattack knocked the Hermes delinquents to the ground. The two brothers almost immediately began accusing one another of sabotaging the attempt. In all, the only thing they accomplished was making the sweater grow another inch and making Nico’s shoulder ache from where the pry bars met.

After Percy broke up the squabbling brothers Leo staggered forward with a dangerous grin on his face.

“Imma burn it.” The son of Hephaestus says as he raises one flaming fist up.

“The Hades you are!” Percy cries, with Nico sending crumbs flying in his attempt to say the same; albeit with more profanity. “Calypso! Come and get your boyfriend!”

Nico hears an exasperated sigh and the Daughter of Atlas pushes her way to the front of the line. “Come on Leo,” the perfect girl says with a roll of her perfect eyes. “Why don’t you follow me to the back of the line and think of something else? Maybe get some more punch?”

At the mention of the fruity beverage Leo extinguishes his flames and allows Calypso to lead him away. The girl rubbing at her temples with one hand while muttering something about the island not being that bad.

“Thanks, Caly!” Percy smiles. The simple action arousing something that is most certainly not jealousy in the Son of Hades. “But keep him away from the punch!”

Next, a trio of Demeter’s offspring descend on him. They sprinkle the entirety of the sweater with small, white seeds and say a prayer to their godly mother. As the trio reaches the end of their hymn, Nico thinks they just wanted to annoy him. But the sweater’s stitching begins to convulse and twist, and green vines begin to violently sprout from between the threads. To Nico’s horror, he recognizes the plant they have chosen, mistletoe, and he wants to fade into the shadows when Piper suggestively wiggles his eyebrows at him. He is honestly thankful when the sweater shrivels the invading plantlife to dust.

After Percy washes away the dead mistletoe, Jason makes his attempt. Despite having thunder and lightning at his disposal, the Son of Jupiter’s plan is not flashy in the slightest. Jason simply mouthed an apology to him, grabbed the sweater's neckline and pulled down. The blond’s plan to simply see if lowering the sweater was a corner case in the curse’s logic. Sadly, it doesn’t work. The sweater grows another inch and gets itchier with Jason promising to think of something else.

For some reason he couldn’t discern, Percy glares at the nearsighted demigod as he walks away to aid Calypso with a rambunctious Leo.

Piper might as well have been a snake with all the hissing she made when Drew Tanaka approached with a bucket of water and a battery-powered hairdryer. Without a word, the less-than-beloved daughter of Aphrodite splashes Nico with the bucket’s contents only to immediately turn the dryer on and wave it across his body. The magical wool tightens a bit in a few places but it does not grow. The sweater is seemingly just as confused by Drew’s actions as Nico, Percy, and Piper.

After a quick dry off courtesy of Percy, Nico’s most-likely future brother-in-law, Frank, steps up. As Hazel cheers from the back of the line, his sister always insisting people go in front of her, the son of Mars disappears. Everyone is confused at what just happened, some even wondering aloud if they just witnessed Frank being smote down by an angry god.

But as Piper shoves another toga-wearing gingerbread person into his mouth, Nico spots a tiny, red moth sitting on his breast nibbling the sweater. Apparently the son of Mars thought he could eat the massive sweater off Nico. But after five painfully long minutes, Frank reverts back to his normal mountain of muscle and yacks up a ball of yarn at Nico’s feet. Hazel rushes to her boyfriend’s side and helps him to a chair, a string still sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

“Imma burn it.” Leo says as Percy hoses down the pavilion floor. The Texan seemingly cut his way through the line without anyone noticing.

Percy frowns. “Cal-”

“I’m here,” Calypso sighs as she drags Leo away. “You’re worse than Nausinous…”

“Don’t tell my girlfriend I shaid thish, but you’re an eleven,” Leo hiccups. “Sho is she.” He says as he points just to the left of Piper.

The daughter of Aphrodite’s cheeks burn with the same intensity of Apollo’s sun, and she tries to hide her flushed face behind her cup. “Let’s, let’s let the judges have a crack.” she coughs.

Piper turns away from the crowd to face Nico, and there’s not a doubt in his mind she is using him as an excuse to hide her embarrassment. She takes a long drink of her punch before smacking her lips and narrowing her eyes at the sweater. “Hey there, Mr. or Mrs. Sweater. Why don’t you let Nico take you off and I’ll help you get someone with a little more meat? Like.. Frank!”

“WHAT!” Frank and Hazel shriek.

“He’s a mountain of meat and he tried to eat you!” Piper continues, ignoring the Romans’ cries. “So not only do you get a good meal, but you also get revenge.” She tilts her head and smiles. “How does that sound to you?”

The sweater loosens and the hem slowly rises up. Just as Nico thinks the Daughter of Aphrodite has done it, the hem already at his ankles, tightens and drops to the floor like a roll of wrapping paper.

“Dang,” Piper sighs as she stuffs another cookie in Nico’s mouth. It’s a Santa’s Surprise, a peanut butter cookie with a small candy bar baked in the middle. “Thought I had it...”

“At the cost of Frank’s life!” Hazel cries, fanning her face at the indignity.

“You win some, you lose some.” Piper shrugs. “NEXT!”

The pavilion grows as silent as the grave when a daughter of Ares walks up with an honest-to-gods bazooka on her shoulder. “Let the civilian go or prepare to meet your maker!” The brunette barks. Placing her finger firmly on the trigger.

Percy tries to jump between Nico and the barrel of the bazooka, but he is pushed aside with ease by the girl. “Stay out of this, Jackson!”

“Where did you get a freak’n bazooka!” Piper asks, her cup clattering to the ground.

“Irrevalent, McLean!” The obviously unhinged demigod exclaims. “Now,” She aims the weapon squarely at Nico’s chest and he wonders how he’s going to explain his death to his father, or anyone for that matter. “I will give you until the count of three to release the scrawny brat.”

“One!”

Everyone in the room save for Percy, Piper, Jason, Reyna, and Leo begin to back away from the scene. The latter two actually move in closer to the scene.

“Two!”

“Samantha? Is this really a good idea?” One of the other Ares campers asks with a nervous chuckle. “The explosion would probably take all of-”

“Three!”

Nico squeezes his eyes shut as he awaits his explosive end. He wonders if it will hurt or if he will transition into the afterlife before his mortal body could even process the pain of being blown to smithereens.

But after a few seconds without pain and no earth-shattering kaboom, Nico cautiously opens an eye to see if he is in the world of the living or his father’s realm.

“Damn.” Samantha sighs as she lowers her weapon. “You called my bluff.” She leans in close to the sweater and says, “You are truly a worthy opponent.”

“So that happened.” Percy says, eyes wide as the girl is led away by her brothers and sisters. “You ever get the feeling this place needs therapists?”

“Since day one.” Piper gulps. Her hand still outstretched as if it was still holding her drink. “Next?”


	4. Not Exactly A Hallmark Movie

The whole thing has to be some kind of nightmare. Nico never wanted to be ignored, feared or pitied, but he did want to be known. Respected. Maybe even liked. What he definitely didn’t want was to be overlooked or looked through. 

Having camper’s lining up in front of him to witness his continuing misery and humiliation from the abominable sweater he was trapped in as they tried to get him out was depressing. With each failed attempt, the Son Hades’ anxiety cranks up a notch and the sweater gets a little warmer, a little larger, and a lot itchier. 

It is difficult to move his arms too much because the lengths of yarn that were meant to be sleeves are piled on the floor. This presents a whole new challenge because his chest and arms are nearly burning from an unrelenting itch. 

Nico does his best to try to lift one yarn covered arm so he can scratch along his chest and arm but it’s a dangerous sort of thing. He doesn’t want to tangle himself up or risk falling again. Nico’s not sure he’ll be able to get back up if he does. 

But it _is_ too heavy. He can’t quite move with the freedom he needs and the material is too thick. He doesn’t realise he has let out a frustrated growl until the Son of Poseidon turns to look at him, giving him a once over as if looking for some way he might have hurt himself in the stupid sweater. 

“You okay?” 

“No!” Nico snaps. “No, I’m not okay. I’m stuck in this stupid sweater and everyone’s making a party game of trying to get me out of it.” 

Percy’s cheeks flame red and his gaze drops down with what Nico recognises as something like failure or, maybe more like shame. The other demigod is just trying to help his friend but it’s a lot of attention. Nico isn’t accustomed to crowds this large (at least of the living), and for this long, especially not with their attention focussed on him. There’s an undercurrent of misery he tries not to feel or notice at this time of year and everything sort of, snowballed. Nico’s own cheeks burn with embarrassment at overreacting. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I- I want to get this stupid thing off and be done with the party.” 

Green eyes widen a bit. “No! Come on, we’ll get you out of the sweater and you can enjoy the rest of the party. The eggnog is pretty good and I mean, I’d probably avoid the punch. But I know for a fact all the cakes and cookies are awesome.”

Nico isn’t sure how to feel under the hopeful, green-eyed gaze of the older demigod. Except he knows he doesn’t want to be responsible for completely disheartening the other. It’s impossible not to wonder how Percy hasn’t picked up on Piper shovelling an endless surprise of holiday cookies down his throat to keep him quiet. The menorahs are the hardest to swallow down in bulk. In truth, he’s starting to feel a little nauseous, whether from too many cookies, too much sugar, the impossible sweater or all the attention is really anyone’s guess. But those damned sea-green eyes.

“Let’s get the sweater off and we’ll see.” Which seems to be enough to wipe away the look of desperation from Percy’s face. The son of Hades can practically see the triumph written across the older teen’s face. “I didn’t promise!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Percy rolls his eyes like he knows a secret that he’s not really attempting to hide from Nico. One where he won’t be going anywhere no matter what he says. 

“Okay! You finished?” Piper asks as if she’s the one who has chosen to give them a break, before letting anyone else step up. Whether Nico likes it or not,he definitely doesn’t like it, the sweater is growing ever warmer and he needs to get the stupid thing off. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any better ideas at the moment so he nods his head. Luckily for him, Hazel is the next in line and she’s bouncing on her toes with excitement. Franks standing beside her as the usual solid bulwark of support.

“Oh Nico!” She laments as she gets closer. As she takes in the sight of her brother, he can practically see the cogs turning as she assesses the sweater. If he had a mirror, he can imagine how ridiculous the knitted monstrosity has grown. “It’s a floor-length dress now, with a train!” 

Heat rises further to the Italian demigod’s cheeks as he stares down at himself. The sight is ridiculous and the _itching_ is growing worse. 

His sister must misinterpret it because, as she shifts her weight to her toes and back again while glancing around at the sweater, Hazel immediately starts apologising when her eyes meet his. “I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s not like it was this way when you started. nd if it had been--” 

_Dear gods, just strike me down._

There’s snickering all around them but he just shakes his head. 

“It’s fine, Haze. I know what you meant.” Nico says honestly. He doesn’t need Frank’s smile of approval. Thank you very much.

The old habit, one hand fanning her face, has started. Nico does his best to offer a reassuring smile, which is unsurprisingly difficult given that smiling isn’t his most natural state. He’s also swimming in a sweater that seems content to grow large enough to swallow him whole and suffocate him, which is like the most ridiculous way to die of anyone he’s ever heard of, and there have been some pretty stupid deaths. Like that guy who had had an unfortunate accident with Wonderbread. Not the factory, not the company, a single loaf. Still, Nico does his best to smile and give an encouraging nod to her as if to say _go ahead_. 

Focus and confidence back, Hazel’s golden curls bounce as she nods. A moment later, mist swirls forth around the tips of her fingers and tendrils curl forward, around the sweater and around the demigod. It settles at his feet and slowly works its way up and around, swirling until it begins to take form. At first, he doesn’t understand what his sister is attempting, but slowly the mist begins to take form. First, it’s dark-clad feet, then thin legs shooting upwards and little by little his mirror image is formed. 

Mirror-Nico reaches down to tug at one of the threads of the sweater and for a moment the real sweater grabs hold of the form. It begins to curl around his mirror copy as if confused. Which is it supposed to choose? 

Hazel’s brow is creased with concentration and for a moment Nico thinks that it’s going to work. The sweater is going to let him go. It loosens its grip on his skin and he can feel a breeze! Air! It’s sweet relief from the scratching that hasn’t stopped as it both tightened around him and grew in size to drown him at the same time. 

“Come on,” a voice says and Nico practically jumps out of his skin. Percy is at his elbow not having moved at all. Medusa’s victims are more animated than the Son of Poseidon. For a moment he’s not sure what the other means but he repeats himself in a mumble-whisper as if the sweater has ears, maybe it does. Nico’s hands move to tug at the shoulders of the thing, to yank it off of him and for a moment it starts to give. 

It budges a few inches and then snaps back down like a rubber band. 

Nico lets out a hiss as it clings to his skin once more and he’s positive now that there’s something wrong with the inside. That the wool isn’t just wool because it feels like pin-pricks digging deeper into his skin even as the arms grow longer and heavier and it piles up around his feet, wrapping around his legs in a way he knows means he can no longer move on his own. There’s just too much of it. 

“Oh come on! Darn!” Hazel grumbles as the mist falls away and dissipates around them. 

Before anyone else can step up to try their hand again, the sound of a bullhorn fills the air. Coach Hedge must have lent Mr. D his megaphone and it was shrieking some horrendous noise before the air crackled and filled with the God of Wine’s voice announcing the commencement of the first annual ugly sweater competition. 

“I mean, do you really have a choice?” One failed camper insists as he lines up behind Nico and Percy. 

“You’re definitely going to win. _Look_ at it! It’s ridiculous.” Another chimes. 

“Totally unfair,” a Son of Aphrodite complains with a roll of his eyes as he joins them. 

One by one the campers line up behind Nico, wide-eyed and protesting. He turns to Percy, shaking his head so hard he might have given himself whiplash. “I can’t even move! And I don’t want to do some stupid-” 

“Come on! Don’t hold up the line!” The campers start pushing from behind but with a stern look from Percy and a few harsh words the grumbling continues but the nudging stops. 

“Hurry up, Nathan!” Mr D. grouses over his holiday beverage. Nico didn’t want to guess what sort of special concoction was in the mug he was sipping from but whatever it was most certainly wasn’t the hot chocolate. 

“I can’t really, move, sir.” One glance down at the other had the stranded godsighing, but after a few huffs and rolls of his eyes in protest, the camp’s head makes his way over to the demigod. 

As he makes his way from the small stage and towards the line of demigods, the megaphone morphs into an abnormally large candy cane. The end was sharp like the tip of a spear as if the god had been fashioning it as such while enjoying it. 

“Get in line, Petra Johanson.” He uses it to nearly skewer the son of Poseidon as he motions for him to get back. 

Before he can protest, the god turns to begin inspecting Nico’s sweater. He does a brief circle around the garment, muttering to himself about its age and the mistletoe on it, lifts up the excess yarn of the hem and sleeves as if taking in their weight. “It’s a bit big, isn’t it.” The god mutters as he continues his inspection getting uncomfortably close to both Nico and the sweater. 

_Please just let the world swallow me whole,_ Nico thinks to himself. What he wouldn’t give for Gaea to wake back up and put an end to the whole freaking thing.

And then Mr D stands up and barks out a laugh, hot breath and the stench of liquor strong enough to be a distillery, hits Nico’s face. 

“Well, it’s a good entry! But not good enough to die over. Nice effort, Nimo Angiollio. I know you don’t normally participate and the homage to yours truly is appreciated but I won’t be won over that easily.” 

“H-homage?” Nico frowns. There is absolutely nothing about the sweater that screams Mr D. in any fashion. 

“And brave, but very stupid. Donning a cursed sweater. Nietzsche. I swear you campers get more and more oafish by the year. They just don’t make you like they used to.” Mr D. waves a hand before shouting “Next!” so loud in his ear that it left his eardrums ringing. 

As the god marched toward the next candidate for the competition Nico, well, he stood there. He was lucky he wasn’t falling over but the thing was starting to make his back and shoulders ache from the weight of it. 

“I found it!” Annabeth shouts running towards them, huffing as she comes closer. There’s a few scattered papers hugged so close to her chest that Nico isn’t entirely sure what they are. “Now it’s not definite, but if we…”

“It’s the sweater.” Percy answers flatly. 

“I mean, I know we suspected that it may be. But I was checking some of the journals of former Heads of Athena cabin, we keep them and pass them down to ensure a record of things as a sort of unofficial duty, and there’s a retelling of-” 

“Mr D. confirmed it. It’s _the_ sweater, Annabeth. I mean, I’m not sure how many other cursed sweaters could be residing in Camp.” 

The blonde deflates for a moment at the Son of Poseidon’s words but Nico doesn’t have it in him to offer any words of consolation. Whatever was going on there wasn’t his to judge. He just wanted the freaking sweater off! 

“So we know it’s the sweater. What now? Because I’m pretty sure this thing is _tasting_ me now and it’s- I feel gross on so many levels.” 

Her purpose reestablished, the daughter of wisdom stands a little taller. “Well, now you need a kiss. There’s a whole load of debate but it has to be a meaningful kiss.” By then her nose is half-buried in the papers that she’s carrying and her voice is carried away with it as she looks for some specific something that eludes everyone else. 

As for Nico, that sugar-slash-cookie-slash-attention-now-doomed-sweater nausea is multiplied once more. And when did his face get so hot? It extends to the tip of his ears but there’s only so much blushing that can be blamed on being overheated from the sweater even if the gods’ forsaken thing is getting hotter by the minute. 

“Well if it has to be a meaningful kiss!” Hazel is back by his side and Nico breathes a little easier. 

Okay, a sisterly kiss he can handle. She pushes up on her tiptoes and places a kiss on his cheek. There’s no hesitation from the sweater, however. The thing practically sprouts another three inches in the arms and piles up heavier on the floor at his feet. 

“Rude,” she frowns at the sweater’s apparent distaste for her. 

“Looks like we should start a kissing booth.” Piper grins wickedly with a devilish waggle of her eyebrows. 

Nico’s heart drops to the hem of the sweater with Piper’s words. His eyes dart over the sea of attentive faces as his embarrassment starts to feel sharp enough to be pure panic. He thinks he’s actually going to be sick.

Nico does not want to do this. He doesn’t. He would do literally anything else. He would fight anyone, take any quest, just as long as this spectacle of a party ended and he didn’t have to kiss the entire camp.

Or worse get the one kiss he does want for it to not work. Even that wasn’t the worst possibility on Nico’s mind, but he wasn’t going to think about what would happen if kissing Percy did get the sweater off but nothing changed. Nico’s heart couldn’t take that. 

As his eyes dart wildly over everyone he doesn’t find a single sympathetic face. So many campers look hungry, or like Christmas has come early and they’ve been given the best present. Nico is used to feeling alone, but it’s rarely so awful as this party full of people who are supposed to be friends.

“I don’t think that’s going to be necessary.” Percy’s voice nearly growls from behind him. Reminding him that Percy has tried his hardest to be in his corner. Even if he hasn’t always succeeded. In some ways, he’s actually failed more times than not, but to Nico, it’s the thought that counts.

If Nico weren’t so tired of being jerked back and forth through this emotional rollercoaster of an evening he thinks he would be relieved by the hope that bubbles up in his chest. Percy would figure something out. He at least won’t let it come down to a non-consensual kissing booth.

“I think Percy’s right.” Reyna adds. Reminding Nico that it’s not him and Percy against the world. That he does have people that will have his back when things get rough, or in this case absolutely terribly awful. “If it has to be a meaningful kiss, Nico can choose who he kisses. It would be a poor use of time to start a kissing booth.”

Piper looks disappointed but when Annabeth agrees that a kissing booth would probably make matters worse, because the sweater grows when it doesn’t get it’s way, the idea of a kissing booth is scrapped. Nico is so relieved that he might cry until he realizes that now he has to publicly admit to all the people he might possibly want to kiss.

The hungry look in the Camps eyes is back and Nico hates it. He hates them and he hates the sweater. He hates Mr. D. who decided that it would be good to keep the cursed object of his own making lying around camp where it can attack unsuspecting demigods. 

Luckily his friends still have his back. “Well I think that means that everyone can get back to partying.” Jason says his voice ringing loud and clear for any campers that might want to argue. His tone brooks no argument. “We’ll let you know if we need you.”

Frank backs Jason’s words up with sheer physical presence, planting his feet, squaring his shoulders, and glaring out at the crowd. A weirdly polite statement of and we’d really like to see you try not listening to us, without a word ever spoken. 

Reluctantly, the wolves disperse though Nico can still feel them watching him. He’s left taking up a lone corner of the dining pavilion with his sister and his friends. Nico knows he should say something, the sweater is still a massive, heavy, itchy and uncomfortable problem that Nico desperately wants to escape now that he isn’t being presented with even worse options. He just, doesn’t know what to say. 

“Okay.” Piper says breaking the silence. She sounds a little more sober and a little less out to torture Nico, thank the gods. “Since, this is your show Nico, who do you want to start with?”

Nico blushes and looks down at his sweater covered feet. Maybe this is just a nightmare and he’ll wake-up soon.

Piper carries on though, perhaps purposely being a little callous in ignoring Nico’s feelings about this, focusing on getting him out of his woolen prison. Still she does take the time to notice that he needs a little help getting started. 

“Let’s start easy.” The Daughter of Aphrodite says thoughtfully. “Who, in your opinion, is the hottest person in camp?”

Nico never wanted to be a part of the kind of gossip that he is positive happens in the Aphrodite cabin on a daily basis. Yet, here he is talking about who he may or may not like with the cabin's head counselor. 

Well, if Piper is going to terrorize him, Nico can return the favor at least. He’s sure he’s taking his frustrations out on the wrong person or something. And that Hazel will have a thing or two to say about it when this is all over, but right now he doesn’t care. 

So, Nico smirks and says, “Oh, the answer to that question is going to get me in a ton of trouble.” 

Piper just smirks back, “Well, now I’m intrigued. Own up Italian Stallion, who do you think is handsome?”

Suddenly revenge seems like a bad path to take. He’s going to have some apologies to make when this is over. Still he does want to get out of the sweater and Piper might be headed in the right direction. So, he nods generally in Jason’s direction, careful to not make eye contact because that would be too embarrassing. 

Jason huffs a laugh while Piper’s smirk grows into a wide grin. “I really don’t know why you think a hot guy kissing my boyfriend with my permission would upset me Nico.” She says sassily and gestures for Jason and Nico to get on with it.

Nico suddenly regrets letting himself be led into what was clearly a trap set by the Daughter of Aphrodite. Still, Jason doesn’t seem angry as he comes over to the spot Nico is glued too by an impossibly heavy weight, mainly amused. So perhaps things are still okay. 

“You are not anywhere near drunk enough for this, are you?” Jason asks sympathetically as he leans into Nico’s space. There’s an amused light in the Son of Jupiter's eyes, and Nico hates that some part of him finds it attractive. 

“I’m not drunk at all.” Nico says, and it’s the last words to come out of his mouth before he learns what Jason’s lips feel like against his own. 

“And who’shhhh fault ish that?” A certain son of Hephaestus cries out from across the room. 

It’s not a bad first kiss, necessarily. Though it was more of a light brush of lips than anything proper. Still there’s something electric but fleeting in the softness of Jason’s lips and then as quickly as it started it’s over. Strangely, it's not something Nico entirely regrets. Rather, it’s a reaffirmation that Jaon is someone who truly cares about him, just not in a romantic way. 

Nico doesn’t have to look to know that the sweater has grown again. Still he tugs at the sleeveless and neckline hoping that the added length is a sort of last protest before he can finally get the garment off. Unfortunately, it is as stuck as ever.

“Well, I guess that’s a no for the easy way out.” Jason says calmly. Like it wasn’t a big deal that, due to circumstances, he got to have Nico’s first kiss. 

There’s something in Jason’s eyes though that adds weight to the simple statement. An implication that Nico knows the way out of this and it’s entirely up to him how long the game goes on. Nico has no idea what he’s talking about. Even as Percy clears his throat awkwardly and says, “Well, I guess we keep trying.”

“Maybe the sweater just wants a little more action!” Piper exclaims over Percy, lecherously winking at them. 

“Pipes.” Jason says, “Stop.”

“Let the woman shpeak!” Leo cries out, only for Atlas’s daughter to drag him out of the room once more. 

Piper pouts but lets the matter drop. Nico’s sure it has nothing to do with Jason wrapping his arms around her and whispering something in her ear. 

Annabeth takes over the strategic planning of drawing all of Nico’s romantic secrets out of him via sweater entrapment. Nico almost thinks he prefers Pipers methods more. At least Piper made it mildly comical and let Nico get away with coming at things his own way.

“Okay, lets ask the obvious question here.” Annabeth says, sounding like she was talking about the best method to win a round of capture the flag instead of Nico’s heart. “Who at camp do you like? Not just find attractive, but like, would you actually go on a date with?”

Nico is not telling Annabeth Chase who he likes most at camp. That would cause a whole mess of problems he doesn’t want to deal with. Still the Daughter of Athena is looking at him expectantly and Nico knows he’ll have to say something. 

“Will.” He says before he’s really even thought it through. 

He and Will have spoken all of twice outside of medical stuff. It did feel mildly will-they-or-won’t-they for a bit before Nico returned to the Underworld to help his father. Nico figures his leaving placed things rather permanently on the won’t they side of things. Still the history makes Will a perfect answer to Annabeth’s question, outside of the truth of course. 

Oh gods. The sweater was going to swallow him whole, or strangle him before they were able to get him out of it. He ignores the feeling of the sweater growing as if agreeing with his thought process. He didn’t even say anything!

“Frank, can you get Will?” Annabeth asks before turning back to Nico. “And, not to make things awkward but Piper might be onto something about acting like you mean it. Just, as a pointer.”

“Under the shhirt action ish highly recommended!” The head of Cabin Nine’s voice rings out like a spectre that even he can’t exorcise. 

Nico was wrong the sweater wasn’t going to kill him. Not directly at least. He was just going to be the first demigod to die of embarrassment. The campers eyes follow as Frank retrieves Will and brings him over to their little corner of the party. 

Pretty soon the others will be having a difficult time moving around Nico due to the sheer volume of fabric taking up space on the ground. Nico no longer has hands or legs, his feet are buried in the things hem and sleeves like it’s piles of snow. It felt like his entire body was just yards and yards of wool. 

Nico tries to focus on how badly he wants to be free of the crocheted eldritch monstrosity as Will finishes making his way over guided by Frank. 

Nico looks up just in time to see that Will seems to be just as embarrassed by this whole thing as he is. Though he seems to be willing to try to be suave about it at least.

“Okay.” Reyna says, making it be clear she’s going to be all business about this. Nico is grateful that someone isn’t treating this as a big massive joke. “We’re going through people Nico thinks are cute. He mentioned you, so if you don’t mind, let him kiss you.”

Will smiles a soft smile that still somehow lights up the room. “That’s not going to be a hardship.” He says and Nico wants to roll his eyes or just sink into the sweater and allow it to finish him. The feeling only gets worse when Will’s gaze falls on him. 

“So, you have type. Huh?” Will asks while drawing closer. Nico’s not sure what Will is talking about until Will lets his gaze drift towards Jason. Tall blonde, Jason. Right. 

“I, guess?” Nico asks more than states.

Percy snorts behind him and Nico relaxes slightly. He’s with friends and they won’t let anything bad happen to him. Well, worse then already had and they were trying to get him out of the sweater weren’t they? 

“It’s not a big deal if you do.” Will says, and he sounds so understanding. It’s almost too much for Nico given the unreasonableness of the situation. He can’t help but squirm from all the embarrassment he’s been exposed to today. He doesn’t know how much more he can take. 

“Dude.” Percy cuts in sounding frustrated, though Nico can’t imagine why. He’s not the one that’s being forced into a public spectcal because of a dumb cursed artifact. “Stop trying to make Nico blush. Don’t you think he’s had enough reason to be embarrassed for today without you purposely trying to get a rise out of him?”

Will mostly ignores Percy but he does turn his attention to the problem at hand. “So, is there like a specific way we’re supposed to do this?”

Suddenly Nico just wants to get this dumb kiss that is only going to make his sweater bigger and more uncomfortable over with. It takes a Herculean effort, thanks to the sleeves, but Nico reaches out and pulls Will closer by the wrist. He probably should have given the other demigod some kind of warning but he also doesn’t want to give WIll the chance to talk about it at all. 

Letting the weight of the sweater do the work for him, Nico pulls Will to him and their lips crash together. It’s an inelegant kiss, both parties off balance and only half heartedly participating in the first place. All the bluster both of them had been expressing goes out like a flame with the frankly boring kiss.

Then the sweater grows heavier and longer. Nico’s knees buckle from the unexpected weight. Suddenly sitting on the ground, Nico looks on in horror as the hem adds literal yards that unbalance Will and push him to the ground.

“Well, I guess that tells us what the sweater's opinion of that is.” Hazel says awkwardly as Reyna helps Will up and lets him walk away. Leo’s laughter echoing in the distance. 

Percy huffs a small laugh which gets Nico’s attention. He immediately regrets looking at the other demigod. He’s got a thoughtful look on his face and something deep in Nico’s bones knows that the simple sound promises so much trouble.

Piper sighs and Nico finds himself grateful for there to be a reason to not be looking at Percy any more. “Nico, I think we need to be serious now. There’s got to be someone you’re interested in. Who is it?”

Nico intends to answer that question approximately never. Which is why it is incredibly jaring when Percy himself says, “Actually, Piper, I have a different idea. Maybe it’s someone Nico once had a crush on.” 

That’s literally all the warning Nico gets before the Son of Posidon is kneeling before him, one hand gently cupping Nico’s jaw as Percy’s warm lips press softly against his own. It’s all Nico can do to remember to not lean into this kiss that is finally what he wants, the sweater's opinions be damned. 

With a huge amount of willpower Nico manages to not melt into Percy. He keeps the kiss quick and perfunctory, like all the rest. It’s still the best kiss that he’s ever had. Percy seems to take the hint and pulls away slowly. For a brief instance, so fast that even Hermes would struggle to see it, Nico follows after Percy’s salty sweet lips.Then it’s over and Percy feels completely lost to him still kneeling before him. 

Nico tries not to let the others see how it breaks his heart when another couple of inches are added to the already pooling hem of the sweater. He still pulls at the sweater hoping maybe it will still come off. It doesn’t budge.

It’s hard to be proven right. Nico has known that he couldn’t have what he really wanted, but to have been allowed to taste Percy for the barest moment and then have confirmation that it’s not meant to be. That’s the straw that finally breaks the camel's back. Nico is done. 

Nico hears Jason mutter, “That wasn’t as difficult as I expected it to be.” Luckily he seems to be the only one to hear it. 

“Oh.” Percy says, awkwardly, rocking back so that he’s sitting on his heels in a way that is far too appealing for Nico to handle at this moment. “Well, I guess that’s not what the sweater wanted either.” 

Nico can’t help but be disgusted with himself for how badly he wants the odd tone in Percy’s voice to be his own disappointment because it didn’t work. 

“Maybe the sweater just wants a little more oomf if you know what I mean.” Piper says with a wink.

“Yesh, try shum tongue!” Leo’s voice calls from somewhere, like the most unwelcome of announcers. 

Nico’s gaze locks onto a section of sweater before him as he refuses to give the teasing any credence by looking at his so-called friends. He does check from the corner of his eye to see if Percy’s face is as red as Nico’s feels.

“Guys, I highly doubt that will actually change anything.” Annabeth says. Nico is positive she’s only rescuing him from further embarrassment because she doesn’t want to see her ex kissing him again but Nico is happy to accept the help. 

For some reason Percy doesn’t get up right away. Nico hates that even after the major disappointment of the kiss not working he wants Percy to stay close. The Son of Poseidon’s presence is still comforting even if actual comfort from Percy isn’t something Nico will get to have.

“Okay, we’ll keep trying.” Piper says gamely, already surveying the crowd of demigods for her next victim.

Nico is surprised to see that while everyone is still present it is clear the party is beginning to wind down. He’d barely even been able to participate, besides being an accidental piece of the night's entertainment of course. 

“No.” Nico says crossing his arms and slumping in on himself. Just in cases anyone was going to try to be unclear on the part where he wants to be left alone. 

“Nico.” Percy says reaching out and putting a reassuring hand on Nico’s shoulder. “Come on. We’ll get you out, but we have to keep trying.”

Nico tries to think of a calm response. Something that will get his point across but keep Percy from looking further disappointed. Then Frank cuts in with, “I think he’s right Nico. We need to get you out of there.” 

“I said no.” Nico growls, feeling a simultaneous dark satisfaction and empty disappointment when Percy jerks his hand away like Nico had burned him. “I’m done. Just leave me here.”

“We can’t just leave you here, Nico!” Hazel says sternly clearly about to begin giving him a lecture about taking care of himself. 

“Come on Nico, let’s just try one more.” Piper cuts in cajoling like Nico is a frightened dog she found on the street. 

“There’s got to be a strategy.” Annabeth adds, but she’s talking to Jason and Reyna like the fact that Nico said he’s done doesn’t even matter.

Nico panics. He’s tired, heart-broken and all he wants is to go home, even if home is the Underworld. That’s the only explanation he can give for why he decides to try Shadow Travel again. But when he pulls the shadows of the corner they’re in around him it’s like he hits a brick wall. All he does is jerk himself, the sweater, and Percy slightly to the left. 

Well, that and apparently loose his pants if the feel of itchy wool now ensconcing his lower legs is anything to go by. At least the sweater allowed him enough dignity to keep his boxers. Nico sighs. 

To make matters worse, Percy immediately falls over like they’d actually gone somewhere. Everyone looks down at Percy in surprise. The other demigod is now swathed in fabric like he’d decided to wrap himself up in the sweater’s hem like a blanket. When Percy tries to get to his feet and get loose the sweater very clearly pulls him back down. 

Annabeth sighs. “Not you too Percy.” 

Percy shrugs and looks back down at the fabric practically encasing him like maybe if he glares at it hard enough it will let him go. Nico knows for a fact that it won’t work, he gave up on that tactic himself what must have been hours ago. 

For a moment Nico thinks he’s going to have to endure Percy and Annabeth kissing and getting back together as a final indignity of the night. Luckily nothing is ever said as the thought doesn’t even seem to cross either demigods mind.

“And we’re losing all our possible subjects too.” Piper complains loudly, sounding a bit too much like a mad scientist for comfort. Which was normally Leo’s job. Actually that brought about the excellent question of where Leo had ended up. .

Calypso had led the drunken Son of Hephaestus away earlier, recognizing that his assistance was far less helpful than normal. Still, they had all heard his unwanted commentary from some other part of the party. Nico now wonders where the fire-starting demigod had gotten to.

He allows his gaze to drift out over the party. People are actually leaving now.In fact, it looks like quite a few have already left. He finds Calypso half carrying a very wobbly Leo down the Dining Pavilion steps. The Son of Heaphestus is talking excitedly, with big gestures and longing looks towards the sky.

As if to prove the point that it is time for the night to end Hazel and Annabeth yawn at the same time. They both giggle awkwardly and start to say something about it being a long evening when Jason catches the yawn himself.

“Well, what do we do now?” Reyna wonders aloud, giving voice to the impasse they find themselves at.

Instead of yawning Percy sighs. “Okay. I think Nico’s right, we’ve had enough for one night. You guys get some sleep. We’ll try something else in the morning”

Nico turns to look at Percy in shock. Surely he isn’t hearing him right. There’s no way Percy would willingly spend a night trapped in an admittedly tent sized sweater with Nico. At least not when there were still people around who might possibly be able to find a way to wrangle one or both of them free. 

“But you’re both still trapped.” Jason states looking concerned. The effect is ruined when he yawns again.

“Yeah, and no one will be freeing us while you all are so tired you can’t stop yawning.” Percy argues. “Besides, Nico’s already said he’s done. Come back tomorrow with fresh ideas. We’ll be fine. Right Nico?”

Nico can’t decide if he wants to be trapped alone with Percy all night or not. There’s not even an obvious reason for Percy to be willing to stay, unless it really is just to spare the others a sleepless night. It’s clear between how awkward he’s been all night and the results of the kiss earlier that Percy probably has better places to be. 

Still Nico is absolutely positive that if the others keep trying to push him to kiss people he supposedly likes after kissing Percy failed, he will go ballistic. So he nods in agreement and waits for everyone to gather their things and leave.


	5. What's Left to Confess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone and welcome to the finale! 🥰

It takes a while. Their friends are reluctant to leave them despite Nico’s uninviting silence and Percy’s reassurance that they’re fine. The Harpies, instructed by Chiron to leave Percy and Nico alone have mostly cleared up by the time Jason has been convinced to stop hovering, Reyna has decided she won’t come back to two decapitated demigods and Hazel has made sure her brother really is okay half a million times.

“You’re sure you’re going to be okay?” Hazel asks again, Frank has a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to gently guide her away. She’d made sure they had everything they could possibly need. A fire for warmth, shelter in the form of a tarp strung over their heads, food, water, and pillows for comfort against the dining pavilions stone floor.

In Nico’s opinion the sweater provided all the cushion and warmth they could possibly need. But no one was asking him. “I’ve spent the night in worse places.” Nico grumbles, it’s all the ground he’s able to give at that moment.

“Okay.” She says, kissing Nico’s cheek again. He resists the urge to tug at the sweater hopefully, they already know it won’t work. He’s sure there’s a few more inches on the hem, but the thing is large enough to make an itchy nest for two now. It’s not like a little kiss like that will be noticeable.

Finally the rest of the group leave Percy and Nico alone in the Dining Pavilion. The Harpies have all gone in as well as all the other inhabitants of the camp. It’s just Percy and Nico out in the rapidly cooling night, with the supplies brought by the others they have their own private bubble of warmth.

The only thing that would make it better would be if he could cuddle Percy. But Nico wouldn’t want to risk it, even as an offer to share body heat. Not with how weird Percy had behaved all night, like the whole idea of Nico having a romantic life made him uncomfortable. On the other hand, Percy had kissed Nico and it’d felt like he meant it, at least a little.

Nico didn’t know what to think. He kind of wanted to ask Percy about it, but that would probably just make things worse. The fabric around his shoulders inexplicably gets itchier even as Percy chooses to break the silence. His awkward tone confirms Nico’s reflection on Percy’s odd behavior. “So, what now?”

As has been the case for the whole evening Percy is acting cagey and weird, like he cares about Nico, but also like he’d wants to be as far away from Nico as possible. For his part Nico has decided he’s had enough. If he’s going to be stuck in a sweater all night with someone who doesn’t even want to be near him Nico thinks he deserves to know.

“Are you going to keep being weird all night?” Nico asks. He’d normally try to have a bit more tact but he was so weary after everything. Even though Nico is pointedly not looking at Percy he can still feel the other demigod freeze next to him.

“I- What?” Percy asks, confused by Nico’s sudden question. Which is probably warranted. Nico could pretend like it was nothing but now that he’s started down this path Nico wants to know. He turns to face Percy.

“Are you going to keep being weird all night?” he asks again, making sure he enunciates just in case Percy legitimately didn’t understand him the first time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Percy says in an uncertain tone of voice that makes it clear that Percy knows exactly what Nico is talking about. “Look maybe we should just bed down for the night. You’re comfortable right? I can give you one of my pillows if you need it.”

“You’re doing it right now!” Nico exclaims. “Acting like you hate being around me and also acting like you care? It’s weird and I want to know why you’re being like this.”

“I don’t know!” Percy snaps. “I just, you make me feel weird sometimes. Okay?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nico asks hunching in on himself defensively. He thinks they should stop fighting. The sweater nest they are currently ensconced in is growing larger, clearly having a negative response to the barely contained anger in their tones. Soon they will drown in the wool. Still, Percy’s words hurt and he can’t help but lash out.

He feels a little vindicated when Percy’s expression falls. Maybe he didn’t mean his words in a hurtful way. He’s proven right when Percy takes the time to choose his next words a little more carefully.

“I just, I feel protective of you? And I didn’t like how the others were handling the situation. I should have done something, but I didn’t. Now I feel like a giant jerk for letting them goad you into kissing Jason and Will when you clearly didn’t really want to.”

There was so much to process there. Percy thought he was supposed to protect him? He wanted to help him? Instead Nico’s mind focuses on the very clearly missing moment from the evening in Percy’s explanation.

“What about you?” He asks hesitantly.

“What about me?” Percy asks, once again confused by the conversations change in tone.

“I mean, you kissed me too.” Nico points out, blushing. The memory of Percy’s lips against his own even for that brief moment fills Nico with a warmth so much more welcome than the stifling layers of the sweater. “Do you feel guilty about that?”

Percy snorts. “Of course not.” Then his eyes widen as he realizes exactly how candidly he has answered the question. “I mean, wait.”

Hope bubbles up Nico’s chest. Maybe Percy had kissed him because he wanted it to work. The fact that it hadn’t is all but forgotten as he says, “Percy, if I kissed you right now, would you stop me?”

“I- You- Uh-” Percy stutters as he breaks eye contact with Nico, his cheeks glowing like the dying embers of the campfire. However, the Son of Hades can only focus on the fact that Percy hasn’t said he would stop him. It’s really all the invitation he needs to try kissing Percy one last time.

Nico leans forward, his hand reaching out so his thumb may gently stroke the strong line of Percy’s jaw. This has the most satisfying effect of causing Percy’s head to snap up, his gaze once again meeting Nico’s. “Percy, I’m going to kiss you now.” Nico says because he wants to hear himself say it and he wants Percy to be able to say no.

Nico’s heart races as Percy barely breaths “Okay.”

Then nothing much matters but the warm, firm press of Percy’s soft lips against his own. The silky slide of lips against lips as they both open their mouths to share breath.

At some point Percy pulls Nico into his lap. Not that Nico is complaining, being above Percy allows Nico to take fuller control of the kiss. The sounds that Nico is able elicit from the other demigod as he licks and nips at Percy’s lips fill him with warmth. Their arms wrap around each other as hands wander, only to meet infuriating wool blocking their quest to find skin. The slightly too long sleeves of the sweater make it hard, but not impossible to touch Percy.

Time loses all meaning as Nico gets lost in the sensations that kissing Percy brings to him. Life on earth could end and Nico wouldn’t even notice, he is so lost in everything that is Percy. He finds himself pressing closer and closer to Percy’s solid warmth as the cold night air whispers tauntingly against bare skin, there are only his boxers to protect him from the cold. Nico shivers in response and finally pauses, even as Percy pulls him closer.

“Percy.” Nico groans as the other demigod attaches his lips to Nico’s neck. It feels so good and Nico doesn’t want him to stop but he really is getting cold being shirtless and pantless in the cold December night air.

The wind blows, brushing against Nico’s newly revealed skin. If he’d had any presence of mind he’d think it strange how much the wind sounds like Aphrodite's most amused giggle. As it is Nico is so lost in Percy that he is barely able to comprehend that the sweater is gone.

He’s still the Son of Hades though, even as Nico lets himself fall back into the pleasured haze brought to him by Percy’s sinful mouth he wraps the shadows around them both. They end up on the floor of Hades Cabin. Percy lying on top of Nico in an inelegant sprawl. For a moment Percy blinks surprised then. Then, with a bit of wonder in his voice he says, “Oh, it worked.”

Nico knows Percy is right. It worked! They’re free and there’s really only one way to celebrate the good news. Nico leans up on his elbows so that he can capture Percy’s lips once more. Percy smiles into the kiss saying, “Yeah, okay.” Before taking them right back to where they had left off.

They should probably be worrying about where exactly the sweater went, lest it turn some unknowing camper into its next victim. They should probably tell the others the good news to spare them a sleepless night worrying about two hero's left out in the cold. There are a lot of things they should be doing.

That will all come later in the morning though. Long after Nico and Percy have fallen asleep and been woken by a frantic Hazel, and smug looking Jason. After they walk back to the Dining Pavilion, the camp’s hungry eyes staring in jealousy. After they’ve shared a good morning kiss, and enough bright smiles to last Aphrodite for a while.

* * *

As for the sweater, it had been decades since its last meal.

Decades spent locked away in that accursed, dusty, hovel of an attic waiting for some unsuspecting mortal to don it and become its victim. Oh, how close it had been to fading away without the sweet nourishment of self-doubt, fears of rejection, the pangs of longing, and love spurned. And lest it not forget the simple pleasures of the metal tang of blood and the crunch of bone that signaled that the hunt for victims would begin anew.

Regrettably, it was denied those pleasures.

The Son of Hades finding his partner in a meddlesome Son of Poseidon and igniting the spark of love that it simply could not abide. The same spark that its creator had been denied.

So it was forced to release the two from its grasp and slink away into the night, disappearing without a trace.

But it worried not about fading away. The Son of Hades supplied it with more than enough negative energy to continue its hunt for months, if not years. All it needed to do was take an appropriate form and lie in wait for a victim.

And there were so many possibilities to choose from.

A Daughter of Atlas who questioned if she exchanged one prison for another in the form of a man.

A Daughter of Aphrodite whose future with her partner was made uncertain by a single drunken comment.

The Son of Apollo who felt what was rightfully his had been stolen by the Son of Poseidon.

The likewise Daughter of Athena who secretly blamed the Son of Hades for the lack of permanence and the loneliness that now plagued her heart.

The Roman leader who questioned if there was more to life than serving the needs of others.

All so delicious.

All so easily distracted by their inner turmoil.

However, it couldn’t make a move for the time being. Not when its existence was front and center in the minds of the evening’s revelers.

But a few months should suffice.

It would make its move when all were distracted with thoughts of chocolates,candy hearts cards, and its very antithesis: love.

Until then, it would hide and choose its next form.

Perhaps... a scarf.


End file.
